11.21.2009
The Greyhound Incident by SteveFoxNYC
These people don't care.
They'll sit there. Dead in their seats.
While I speak with no fear.
No fear when I speak.
With my Black Panthers on,
It feels like everybody is looking.
I am looking "alive" at her.
Looking "dead" at me.
That's your child,
But the upbringing that you are giving her,
Is going to unlock some shifting in her subliminal,
Thought patterns.
Turning her thoughts to her actions.
She doesn't see it though.
When she laid down, intentionally or unintentionally,
She didn't see that either.
Just trying to get a "nut".
Didn't figure that she would be that either.
She should give the kid up to another family's gatherings.
My main question now is,
Where is her father?
Where are her toys so that she doesn't have to have these problems?
Steve Fox NYC : The Journey: Looking But Not Going Back.
Sept. 18, 2009
I've been hopping buses for the last 9 hours. And now I'm stuck on the back row with this Black African eating homemade ham and cheese sandwiches with those little cocktail pickles on the side. As his old scuffed-up, country hands dig into the small plastic bag, I am reminded of this sound from my childhood and at this point in the universe, I am only 27 years of age. This damn-near-fifty-year-old man crunches away relentlessly and annoyingly—totally oblivious to the pain that he is causing me. So I just glance to and from the window, my eyes open, inhaling the Knoxville city lights. He's continuously disgusting. He continues the chip flinging and napkin-wiping. And then…..he bottom-ups the bag as if it is imperative that he cast every crumb into his nasty mouth. Not once on the hunt for the crumbs, but twice. And then he proceeds to moisten that nasty mouth with cranberry-pomegranate juice. He coughs and then sighs with his hunger filled relief and finds his warm spot on my once "me only" occupied back seat.
This is the type of country son of a bitch I used to be around everyday. Now, every day is not the same. He seamlessly fiddles through his pockets. They are riddled with yesterday's receipts, today and tomorrow's Newport cigarettes and next weeks dreams. Its seems as if he is just simply passing time until I finish my writing but I only wish to keep him up as long as I am able. Look at us, the poor souls of bastards. This is what he gets for passing by all of the other empty seats and bringing his charcoal black self to my comfort zone. Although my hand is cramping, I will hold out.
"You or me old fart?" I say to myself
It ain't gonna be me.
Darkness falls just outside my window and all I can see is the reflection of me writing in this notebook, bound for my hometown. I up and decided to go home and handle legal business, invest in real estate and be with my dying uncle. Only God knows how many days either of us have left. My ex-girlfriend was upset over me leaving because she says that I have been inconsistent for some time now. And she even had the nerve to take it personally. I guess that's that thing we all call love. That's ok with me. At least I feel like I'm doing something and now that I am going away from her instead of to her, she feels all the more compelled to try to tell me about myself. Oh well! All of those things are true, relatively. I have to admit that I openly accept them but I do "beg to differ". Those actions, words, deeds, mishaps and other mumbo jumbo are what help me to be who I am and who I wish to be. She's a beautiful person. Maybe one day we will see each other at the altar. But for now, I am a-going to do what I want. Aiming to make myself a millionaire writer, poet, author, non-profit founder and real estate investor over the next 24 months.
This journey that I am embarking on won't be easy or a breeze "per se" But it will be a journey to be documents and forever remembered. Now when I say that I wish to be a millionaire, I simply am planning to have a net worth of 1 million dollars by Sept 19, 2011. That is, land, property, deeds, trusts, businesses and/or investments in, publishing deals, speaking engagements, cds, books, etc) cash, savings, et al. Quaintly stated, a well developed asset column. The plan is to live beneath my means, manage my diabetes very well, invest carefully with savvy, manage efficiently with poise and simplicity and enjoy the art of life; creating moments that transcend time and space.
While others are sleeping, I will sometimes be working reverently on my present goals and situations. My past came before me and with those thoughts resonating here and now, I will build a very secure future. Now if I remember correctly, I have great ideas. Multi-million dollar ideas, but not enough follow through to make them work fully. Well, that was my past! My yesterday of sorts and a very important yesterday that was. Now that I see what the problem was, I can better address it through proper planning, team building, natural and human resource allocation and distribution, proper and effective management and in the end, quality analysis and congratulatory praises. This "rough draft" of a system will guarantee success on every project. Determining what is needed determines who is needed. Determining who is needed then determines when we need them and when we need them determines where we need them. The how is always consistent. POSITIVE, ALERT, RESPONSIBLE, TACTFUL. Thus play our designated parts.
I am fully aware that not everything will go my way and that I must be a proactive-yet-patient owner. I am also aware that I must get to the "right" places and meet the right people. That I must let my product speak for itself and build a network of investors through proper appointment setting and power presentation. I must ask questions because it is from those questions that I will derive an answer. That investor, client or partner must feel as though they are getting something.
As I put all of these philosophies together, I am questioned with the powerful question of "why?" What's my purpose for doing all of this? The drive? The motivation? The only answers that I have are simply ones: Love, Peace, Respect. Wealth for my family and I. My nieces and nephews will have the opportunity to travel, go to any school they want and they will see true family from the actions of one man. I choose not to spoil them, for that is not what is needed but, I wish for them to have options. I want them to be able to see that you can change your environment by being a good person and just by being who you are by taking care of your health, wealth, business and others. I want them to know that you were born a creator, of a creator to a creator and that they can write their own story as long as they know what has happened to them and around them. I do this so that they can experience who they are. So that I may experience who I am. Life is full of choices….I have chosen my course and I'm happy with every choice that I am making.
11.17.2009
Looking Forward Backwards
The first line is sent to communicate to you through the waves.....
Past the minutes, seconds. and hours......
Transcending through the days.....
Making your life easily navigatiable at the same time a maze of,
Bright Flourescent colors...
Of mighty sisters and brothers...
And, making titans out of absentee fathers and mothers.
They might not have loved us from close up, so it was the earth that hugged us...
In desolate situations, elaborate, unorganized organizations.....
We caved them in.....and then paved our own roads.
Recognizing the past and moving forward in the present.....
These words are just bonuses to what you've already considered the lessons...
These are no constitutional laws made to be amended,
With flaws and political faux paus.
On the pavement have been placed so many paws.....
Those worn and bloodied.....
Torn and muddied.....
We have taken and we have given so many buddies, to war-riddled lands....
Done in by human hands....
Sick children..... who drink water the same color as the ground we walk on....
No irrigation systems...
The least we could do is, send engineers to help them.
But we are to busy argueing over unemployment and a better healthcare system.
70% of African is unemployed....
Some, still, are giving into the verbal economic system of calling brown people niggers.....
And calling Spanish individuals wetbacks....
In the midst of more important, yet unnecessary setbacks....
Take a look at who's still getting kickbacks, while they kick back...the rich and the trifling...
My dudes still trying to recover from Hennessy Black Cognac.
While I'm just mounting a move forward, eliminating the thought of a comeback....
Keeping it smoking so that you may catch contact....
Putting you on to the fact that, the past problems we are dealing with in the present....
Are, more or less, a throwback....
The ancestors told me to deliver heavily clever, foxy words....
Into eternity.....so that I may live forever when my family attempts to box me up.....
But these proactive reactions.....just got me on my tippy toes!.....
Looking over mountains...not over my shoulder!
Past the minutes, seconds. and hours......
Transcending through the days.....
Making your life easily navigatiable at the same time a maze of,
Bright Flourescent colors...
Of mighty sisters and brothers...
And, making titans out of absentee fathers and mothers.
They might not have loved us from close up, so it was the earth that hugged us...
In desolate situations, elaborate, unorganized organizations.....
We caved them in.....and then paved our own roads.
Recognizing the past and moving forward in the present.....
These words are just bonuses to what you've already considered the lessons...
These are no constitutional laws made to be amended,
With flaws and political faux paus.
On the pavement have been placed so many paws.....
Those worn and bloodied.....
Torn and muddied.....
We have taken and we have given so many buddies, to war-riddled lands....
Done in by human hands....
Sick children..... who drink water the same color as the ground we walk on....
No irrigation systems...
The least we could do is, send engineers to help them.
But we are to busy argueing over unemployment and a better healthcare system.
70% of African is unemployed....
Some, still, are giving into the verbal economic system of calling brown people niggers.....
And calling Spanish individuals wetbacks....
In the midst of more important, yet unnecessary setbacks....
Take a look at who's still getting kickbacks, while they kick back...the rich and the trifling...
My dudes still trying to recover from Hennessy Black Cognac.
While I'm just mounting a move forward, eliminating the thought of a comeback....
Keeping it smoking so that you may catch contact....
Putting you on to the fact that, the past problems we are dealing with in the present....
Are, more or less, a throwback....
The ancestors told me to deliver heavily clever, foxy words....
Into eternity.....so that I may live forever when my family attempts to box me up.....
But these proactive reactions.....just got me on my tippy toes!.....
Looking over mountains...not over my shoulder!
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